Just one night

Empty Bassinet in Keene New Hampshire

Image by Keene and Cheshire County (NH) Historical Photos via Flickr

Last night, I dreamt that we had two newly adopted children in addition to our own two children.  One was a little girl about three or four and and the other was a little boy around one.  I remember asking the little girl if she liked having a new mommy and she nodded her head and said yes.  She was so cute.  I remember holding the boy for hours, he seemed to be happy to be held and just rocked.  Our kids were only a few years older than these two and so we had a handful to deal with but I looked forward to it.  The dream seemed to last the whole first night they were at our home and into the next morning.  I remember promising to myself to raise them as if they were my own kids.

Then I woke and and for a long few seconds I was really concerned “where are my adopted children?”.  Slowly, I realized that I don’t have any adopted children.  It was only a dream, but the little ones seemed so real to me.  They had personality.  Surely they were real?  Oh, the heartbreak I felt with the realization that they weren’t real and I’ll never see them again. A whole day has passed and the emotion of loss still hits me like a brick.

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