I used to have a check list of attributes that I was looking for in my future wife. I never wrote it down, but I thought about it a lot. Which is odd, because I wasn’t dating at the time. So, it is unclear how I ever really expected to meet the woman of my dreams.
- a compatible sense of humor. I wanted us to be able to laugh at each others jokes.
- intelligent. Of course, intelligence and a sense of humor go together, I think.
- likes science fiction. I wanted us to be able to watch everything from Star Trek to Doctor Who, together
- likes same music. I wanted us to be able to enjoy listening to the same music, especially The Beatles and power pop. And I thought it would be nice if she liked my music and poetry.
- likes computers. Perhaps even works with computer software, like me.
- appreciates science and technology
- wants to have children. I wanted to be a father ever since I first held my little sisters first son. so, looking for a good mother for our children seemed obviously important.
- someone I could trust. I was looking for a equal life partner that I could share anything and everything with.
- pretty. Of course, beauty is not easy to define and attraction is often inexplicable.
- compassionate, caring, sensitive. I think it is important to be empathetic to others.
- forgiving. Hey we all make mistakes. It is critical to be able to forgive ourselves and others.
Interestingly, when I finally started dating and met my future wife, I purposely decided to throw out my list. Something about having a list of criteria and checking them off seemed so cold and calculating to me. Which is really odd, because I’m a computer scientist. I am cold and calculating. Anyway, as a result, my wife doesn’t particularly care for science fiction, doesn’t like Star Trek or Doctor Who. She listens to country music. She is not very computer savvy. And she doesn’t laugh at my jokes. Instead, she says, “Funny, Kirk”. We did have lots of things in common. Some things that might seem kind of inconsequential to some. We both liked “Winnie the Pooh“, for example. We collected little Pooh objects and decorated our son’s baby room in Winnie the Pooh and Tigger, too. I had a small collection of Pillsbury Dough Boy items in my kitchen from when I was single. We often searched for more dough boy collectables together.