my prison

The Infinite Loop

The Infinite Loop (Photo credit: kurafire)

I unfold the layers of the cardboard box
that I find myself carefully packed within
only to find that once I am free and out
that I am suddenly back within the box again

trapped within a mental maze of my own construction
an infinite closed loop that represents all that I am
I look to the far horizon with hope of escape
only to see myself waving back, yelling “it’s all a sham”

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  1. #1 by gladiuspoeticus on August 27, 2012 - 9:29 am

    Great poem! I would scrap de word “carefully” in the first line, to prevent an annoying repetition. But that’s my take, ofcourse. 🙂

    • #2 by RKHouse on August 27, 2012 - 1:12 pm

      Agreed, I usually try to catch and eliminate when I do that kind of repetition unintentionally. Earlier during revision of this poem there was an alternative first stanza about digging myself out of my prison only to find myself coming out of the tunnel back inside the walls. I cut that entire stanza and made the second stanza the first since they both made the same point and I really liked the infinite “box within a box” concept better. It felt very “twilight zone” to me which was more of the feeling I was shooting for. 🙂

      • #3 by gladiuspoeticus on August 27, 2012 - 2:57 pm

        All the considerations and choices one has to make to come up with a poem that feels genuine. 🙂

  2. #4 by Kharma on August 27, 2012 - 12:17 pm

    Oh my…..may I repost?

    • #5 by RKHouse on August 27, 2012 - 12:59 pm

      Certainly, I’d be honored.

  3. #6 by bellesogni on August 27, 2012 - 12:41 pm

    Sitting by the dusty attic window hung with cobwebs, lost in memories of childhood, he lifts his old toy from the jumble inside the box, his hand automatically turning the tarnished handle. His eyes don’t see the rotting cloth on Jack as he pops up once again with waving hands. Without conscious thought he pushes Jack back in and sets the toy on the deep window ledge while he contemplates eternity.

    • #7 by RKHouse on August 27, 2012 - 1:21 pm

      Oh, I do so miss your blog, but I’m lucky to have you visit and comment on mine.

      • #8 by bellesogni on August 28, 2012 - 9:46 am

        Awww, what a nice thing to say.
        I do enjoy reading your work – your art – a lot. As you can see, it stimulates my imagination.

  4. #9 by 35andupcynicismonhold on August 28, 2012 - 6:06 am

    wow! 🙂

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