the starmander

Spotted Salamander (Ambystoma maculat...

Spotted Salamander (Ambystoma maculatum) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

let me tell you a story with all candor
down on a planet that couldn’t be any blander
there lives an evil and slimy creature called the starmander
that kinda looks like a gigantic spotted salamander

he’s a hundred miles of scales
with a hide as hard as nails
and whole universe quails
at the thought of his evil spells

he will eat an entire planet with a grin
or maybe just smash the space ship you’re in
so there’s no way that you can win
it’s only a matter of when
his evil hunger will begin again

through the depths of space he can fly
and he can destroy a galaxy with one look of his evil eye
sort of makes you wonder why
his evil heart never seems to die
and so all you can do is to cry
oh sure you can try
but there’s no place to hide that he can’t spy
the starmander is just not a nice guy


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  1. #1 by RKHouse on November 10, 2012 - 11:56 am

    LOL. Don’t ask me what I was thinking in high school when I wrote this silly thing. I was sorely tempted to just toss it with some other junk I wrote back then, but I couldn’t. I always had a soft spot for the naughty, evil starmander. πŸ™‚

  2. #2 by emmylgant on November 11, 2012 - 8:05 am

    LOL! One could have a lot of fun analyzing the starmander

    • #3 by RKHouse on November 11, 2012 - 9:04 am

      It’s hard to believe I’ve carried that piece of paper around with me since high school, perhaps I should be analyzed. πŸ™‚

  3. #4 by bellesogni on November 13, 2012 - 6:03 am

    I am soooooooo glad you kept it!!! I really like this poem!!! Long live Starmander!!!

    • #5 by RKHouse on November 13, 2012 - 11:28 am

      I’m so glad you liked it. That makes it worth keeping all those years.

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