my new year’s reality

Happy new year

Happy new year (Photo credit: Amodiovalerio Verde)

I hear loud noises and festive shouts outside
to mark the beginning of a happy new year
but I am sitting quietly in my room
sadly thinking of my daughter that isn’t here

she’s in a behavioral health center again
where I know she is getting much needed care
and at this stage it seems quite unlikely
that she even understands that she is there

I think of her Christmas presents unopened downstairs
wishing for a gift that could cure her mental misery
but no such gift exists under this or any tree
and this is the hard facts of my new year’s reality

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  1. #1 by parmisr on January 6, 2013 - 11:07 am

    I hit like but I feel “like” doesn’t say everything I want to say. I like the poem but it makes me sad (and I like to not be sad). I like the poem but I hurt for the man, for the daughter. I hate her disease. I dont’ like to hurt, I DON’T like disease …

    • #2 by Ronald Kirk House on January 7, 2013 - 3:08 am

      I know what you mean. Many times with sad posts or poems, I don’t know what to do. I like the poem but I don’t really want to hit “like”. I want a “empathize” or “care” button or something. It feels so strange to hit “like” when someone is hurting.

      • #3 by parmisr on January 7, 2013 - 10:15 am

        Well said. You write such beautiful heartfelt poetry. My personal experience of caring for sick patients and the elderly considering how “weak” I am to handle people’s pain has been a challenge. My training should have hardened me and made me objective but I feel so moved by the pain and suffering that it is hard to hold tears back … You’ve inspired me to share those feelings in my own writing (soon).

        • #4 by Ronald Kirk House on January 10, 2013 - 3:01 am

          Thank you. I look forward to reading your writing.

  2. #5 by emmylgant on January 7, 2013 - 6:43 am

    Yes, a care button would be nice.
    You have extraordinary courage and compassion Ron. Take care of yourself. Don’t isolate yourself for too long… and my best ever antidote for the blues is lots of giggles from your grand-daughter.
    Smile.

    • #6 by Ronald Kirk House on January 10, 2013 - 3:02 am

      Yes, my grand-daughter is a real blessing. She has really started fully giggling recently and grandpa makes lots of funny noises and faces for her. 🙂

  3. #7 by 35andupcynicismonhold on January 10, 2013 - 5:33 am

    still, happy new year! sir RK, reality bites, yes. there was one New Year we spent in the hospital when mother was sick – just the three of us – mother, younger sister and me. it was sad, especially we never got out till weeks later. life could be harsh at times.

    i wish you and your daughter well, though. wish you fortitude, too. keep smiling… 🙂 ~San

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