get bigger breasts

Snake goddess from the Palace of Knossos, Crete.

Snake goddess from the Palace of Knossos, Crete. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

akismet says someone
keeps spamming me
and “get bigger breasts”
is every comment that I see

what if I don’t want bigger
on this sagging old male form?
what if I wish I was smaller
and closer to the norm?

or should I ask my old wife
to now lug around two silicone fun bags?
so that I could point to her new form
and ignore her broken back as I brag?

“get bigger breasts”
no, just give me a big break
and I never really cared
for anything that was fake


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  1. #1 by Shackled and Crowned on July 24, 2013 - 7:16 am

    Hehehehehe….I LOVE this one. It’s humorous and effective, all in the same.
    Very well done. πŸ™‚

    • #2 by Ronald Kirk House on July 25, 2013 - 12:45 am

      Thanks. After seeing a half a dozen “get bigger breasts” comment spams waiting for me this morning, I just had to respond with something. πŸ™‚

  2. #4 by slpmartin on July 24, 2013 - 7:50 am

    Wonderful response to those annoying bits of spam….loved the humor.

    • #5 by Ronald Kirk House on July 25, 2013 - 12:48 am

      The spam does get annoying. I am thankful that akismet works so well to catch it, though. Still, I don’t understand how these spams make money and are worth the effort. I mean, do top plastic surgeons actually advertise by blog spam comments? The business must be harder than I thought. πŸ™‚

  3. #6 by suzywordmuser on July 24, 2013 - 11:24 am

    Haha – very good indeed!! πŸ˜† Yes who needs bigger ones, I get those spam adds too! πŸ˜€

    • #7 by Ronald Kirk House on July 25, 2013 - 12:56 am

      I was wondering if I was the only one getting these. I was thinking what possibly could I be writing in my blog that attracts that kinds of spam? πŸ™‚

  4. #8 by lscotthoughts on July 25, 2013 - 6:37 am

    Loved the humor; great response from those comments! πŸ™‚

    • #9 by Ronald Kirk House on July 25, 2013 - 9:48 pm

      I guess I should write about bigger breasts more often. πŸ™‚

  5. #10 by anelephantcant on July 25, 2013 - 3:30 pm

    Cool poem, man.
    AnElephant loves this.

  6. #12 by 35andupcynicismonhold on July 26, 2013 - 7:05 am

    oh, and to think in the old days ’twas just potion… and the service peddled in the sidewalks. now… in the comments, you say? πŸ˜‰

  7. #13 by gladiuspoeticus on August 7, 2013 - 10:58 pm

    Fantastic.. Silicone fun bags

  8. #15 by Cristina (@cristina_marita) on February 14, 2014 - 2:18 am

    You make me laugh:))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
    Not too big not too small just right for modelling career.

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