Posts Tagged Lori

6 of hearts

English: 6 of hearts.

English: 6 of hearts. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

sometimes creativity doesn’t come at all
but today I wrote six poems total
and as a result I’m kinda feeling
rather lucky and tall

they may not rhyme in the proper way
or say what I really wanted them to say
but they are the only card in the game
that I have left to play

so, now before I fold and the game is through
I’d like for Lori to know one final thing that is true
that I did it all because I was inspired
by true love for you

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I need you

The love of my life

The love of my life (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I think of you all the time
you mean so much to me
and I can’t get you off my mind
oh, how close to you, I want to be

like the Earth around the Sun
my world revolves around you
now, I’m a unstable spinning top
out of control and lost without you

I need you, I want you, I do
I need you, I want you, I love you, I do

all my hope for the future rests
in the blessing of your tender, sweet love
so, come down off that marble pedestal
that I put you up on, way up above

I’m so lost and I can’t believe
that the meaning of my life is now gone
I’m alone and hopeless without you
how can I possibly go on?

I need you, I want you, I do
I need you, I want you, I love you, I do

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my words for Lori, part 2: something special

Classic ballet-dancer Español: Bailarina de da...

Classic ballet-dancer Español: Bailarina de danza clásica (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Lori, you’re something special
something more
a special human being

and as human beings
we are each a falling star
that flashes brightly
and then is gone forever
each is an event to be cherished
because we happen only once
a short, short glimpse
a small, small spark
against the eternity/infinity
of space and time
we are love incarnate

you’re a dancer
and when you danced on my soul
I know you were such a star
giving your light to others
spreading your warmth around

if you think I am strange, okay
I’m admittedly one-of-a-kind, like you
I ask only a little smile
for the man who lives vicariously
through people like you
and the words that you inspire
my words

and although my words are stolen
all that glitters is not golden

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my words for Lori, part 1: what can I say?

Words associated with Fear

Words associated with Fear (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Lori, what can I say
to make you see the you that I see?
how can I express my feelings
of love and friendship for you
to you?
when even I can’t understand myself?
I’m afraid you’d misunderstand
and I’m afraid

all that I have to give you
are these words
unlike me, my words are alive
unlike me, my words will survive

you are vivacious, this I know
because being around you
made me feel alive, if only for a day

you are pretty to me
when you’re up and down
all around and all the time

you’re beautiful because you care
and there is trust there
trust enough to love
more than enough to love

true are my words to you
because they belong to you

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keep it plain and simple

Plain and Simple - Betsy Lohrer Hall - Alchemy...

Plain and Simple – Betsy Lohrer Hall – Alchemy – 2009 – gouache on paper (Photo credit: Angels Gate)

you don’t have to say something witty
you don’t have to think of something grand
just tell me something plain and simple
to let me know where I stand

write me a long letter
or mail me a one-word postcard note
please say something to me
to save me from this sinking boat

you don’t have to write a novel
a simple yes or no would do
but, more than anything
I’d really like to hear, a truthful “I love you, too”

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well, when are you going to ask her out?

Portrait of young woman with blond hair

Portrait of young woman with blond hair (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

at a charming dark haired girl across the way, I found myself staring
thinking to myself, forgive me my dear, for oh so secretly caring
of course, I was too scared to take a risk and ask her out
so I sat frozen forever with my boundless fear and self doubt

I began remembering Lori with her bouncy blond hair and sparkling way
who suddenly came up to lonely me, one fine day
and said “well, when are you going to ask me out?”
it was all I could do to keep from wanting to jump and shout

then we parted with a good-bye kiss and went our separate ways
promising to remember each other, forever and always
so, I wrote to Lori expecting her to do the same
but then waited patiently for a letter that never came

now, looking back at this quiet girl sitting across from me in the room
I felt the darkness waning and the sudden lifting of my gloom
deep inside I heard the voice of my dear Lori speaking out
gently asking “well, when are you going to ask her out?”

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Well, when are you going to ask me out?

Beauty pagent contestants at National Rice Fes...

Beauty pagent contestants at National Rice Festival, Crowley, Louisiana, 1938 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

She was not a ravishing beauty or a Miss America, but she was very attractive. She filled me with with an inexplicable feeling of joy whenever she was nearby, and left me with an empty feeling of loss when she wasn’t. Something in the way she moved, I suppose. Something I couldn’t define or put into words. Something about her smile that stirred me like I was a slowly simmering kettle of chili being cooked over a fire at a day-long outdoor picnic in the park.

In the creative writing classroom, things were very relaxed and we could sit where-ever we liked. Often we placed our chairs in a circle, and so I carefully positioned myself in a spot so that I could easily observe her. Nothing obvious, mind you, just careful and deliberate. In the course of class, sometimes our eyes would randomly meet and she would briefly smile. Sometimes, I thought she seemed to look at me questioningly as if expectantly waiting for me to say something. Of course, I never did. Generally, I avoided such overt contact, quickly averting my gaze away like a bird fleeing from a stalking cat.

It was an evening class, and we met each Wednesday night. After class ended, I would walk alone back to my car in the dark chastising myself for not having the guts to approach her and say hi or ask her to go for a walk with me. As always, the coward, I would rather not take the risk. The fear of rejection loomed over me like a guillotine held only by a thin string. I was left wondering and not knowing what she actually thought of me, if anything. I supposed it was more likely that she didn’t even notice me at all, as if I was ghost in class that could only be seen by someone touched by a painful loss of someone dear.

She was not at all like Lori. She had dark eyes and short dark brown hair while Lori had that long and wavy bouncing blondish color hair. She was quiet and reserved where Lori had been outgoing to the point of being bubbly like a shaken can of soda pop that just explodes all over when opened. And yet, something about her triggered something in me and made me think of Lori. Bringing back all the emotions and the joys and pains in my memories, rushing over me like I was a man trapped in a barrel falling over the thunderous Niagara Falls.

A pocket protector.

A pocket protector. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I had met Lori at a time in my life when I was shifting gears. I had dropped out of Purdue University after a year and a half of uncomfortable and uneventful engineering studies. It quickly became obvious to me that I was not cut out to be an Engineer like my dad. A man who wore white shirts to work with pocket protectors full of pens and pencils and little metal rulers. That was not me, so I returned home. Of course, my father was upset and disappointed beyond words. His pained facial expressions spoke for him. He feared that I would never return to college and would never amount to anything. A waste of potential like a carton of milk left exposed on the doorstep during the heat of day.

Perhaps my father was right because although my stated intention was to transfer to Indiana State and major in Computer Science, I was depressed and tired and uncertain of what I was going to do. I only knew what I didn’t want to do. Mechanics, Calculus and Thermodynamics had me burnt out like an old light bulb swinging by a frayed cord from the roof of the back porch where nobody ever went. I needed time to think. Time to decide what was next for me.

In the meantime, I got a part-time job as a salesman in a local shoe store where Lori also worked. That was where I first met her. She was younger than me and was still in High School. She was just seventeen, if you know what I mean. She was a fellow Pirate, attending my old High School, Madison Heights, and her older sister had been in my class, the class of 78. Inevitably, like a thirsty man drawn to the waters of a desert oasis to drink, I was attracted by her energetic youth and vitality.

Statue of John Lennon in public park, Vedado, ...

Statue of John Lennon in public park, Vedado, Havana. December 2006. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

About the same time, the sudden death of ex-Beatle, John Lennon, made me think about the impact their music had upon me as I was growing up. They represented love, optimism, creativity and youth to me. Their music was forever to be ingrained in that romantic and idealistic part of my soul. My mother carefully spoke the words that shook my faith in humanity, breaking the news to me. “But he’s not dead”, I’d said to her in shocked disbelief. Stunned, I walked into my room and closed the door. I sat down and looked at the latest record album that I had just purchased, his album. And I cried.

Just weeks previously, it seemed I had heard his comeback hit, “Starting Over”, for the first time on the radio. It had immediately struck a chord deep in me, reviving feeling I had listening to the Beatles as a young boy. How could that person who recognized that “All you need is Love” be dead? With his killing I felt the passing of my childhood dreams. Suddenly, I was embittered and old and distrustful. As if all the love in the world was suddenly gone, like all the inviting porch lights of the world were turned off at once.

Then, there was Lori. We had become friendly at work just talking and sometimes eating lunch together at a cafeteria in the mall where the shoe store was located. I had not taken her too seriously, despite being attracted to her, because of our age difference. Until, one day she surprised me by saying, “Well, when are you going to ask me out?” She sneaked by all my defenses and walked right over my shyness, driving deep into the lonely territory hidden in my heart, like a modern Stealth fighter, invisible to radar, flying right into the heart of a well defended city.

Lori sparked my interest and we began spending more time together. We went on our first and only date to see the new Flash Gordon movie with music by Queen. That date was my first real date in my entire life. I was always far too shy and afraid of rejection to even talk to girls. Looking back, I think the times I spent with Lori were the happiest for me since the carefree days of high school. Her lively playful ways restored me like a battery put through a deep cycle recharge. She gave me what I had been searching and longing for, a reason for life. I was ready to take the next step and start in a new direction at Indiana State. I was ready to begin my new studies seeking to major in Computer Science.

Lori Lemaris

Lori Lemaris (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Lori and I said our goodbyes and went our separate ways. I have not seen her or heard from her for the nearly two years since then, but I think of her often. We parted with promises. “Promise me that you’ll write”, she asked as I kissed her goodbye. “I’ll write” I replied and I did, but she didn’t. As I left, she’d given me an envelope to open later in which she said that “this card says good-bye, but that’s not what I want to say. Because it isn’t good-bye. We will meet again and I will remember.” I do not know where she is or how she is doing, or why she never wrote me back. But, I will always remember her, my dear Lori.

As I watched the dark-haired girl across the class room smile, I suddenly didn’t feel lonely anymore. I knew I’d find the right girl for me, someday, maybe even today. Perhaps, all I needed was to summon the strength to be brave and take a risk. Somewhere deep inside me, I heard a friendly voice ask, “Well, when are you going to ask her out?”

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Lori Lorelei

MacCentralMosaicTile

MacCentralMosaicTile (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Lori, Lori Lorelei
beckoning me
Lori, Lori Lorelei
calling me

her song is a song of love
her tale a tale of woe
but I can’t stop loving her
despite the truth that I know

Lori, Lori Lorelei
Lori let me be
Lori, Lori Lorelei
set me free

“Lori Lorelei” © 1981 Ronald K. House

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A Word From Above

Mailbox with brick background

Image via Wikipedia

oh I’ve left my inspiration
left her and went away
and now I don’t feel good at all
and I’m not half as tall
as I was
as I was

I’ve never waited so anxiously
for some word in a letter
never really cared before
never really cared before

and not just any words
for only her words
can make me feel better
can make me feel better

her words are my words
and my words are love
love is all there is
love is all there is
love is all there is

and still I’m waiting for
some message to come
to me
to me
to me

from the woman on the pedestal up above
waiting for my inspiration to come
waiting for my inspiration
to come
to come

“A Word from Above” © 1982 Ronald K. House

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Lori, My Love

Lori, my love
oh Lori, my love

you’re the only one for me
you touched me
like no one before or since
and you made me see
a new way

Lori, my love
oh Lori, my love

before I was alone
never lonely
but you’ve become a part
of me
and when we’re apart
I feel like my heart
is missing, is missing

oh Lori, my love
oh Lori, my love

you’ve made me realize
just how short life is
and how precious
you are to me
like no one before or since
I love you
and I want you with me
and I want you with me

oh Lori love
oh Lori, my love
Lori, Lori
oh Lori, Lori

“Lori, My Love” © 1982 Ronald K. House

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Oh I Miss My Love

Lovers Walk
we’ll meet again, my love
with all of time to spend, together

oh, I miss my love
oh, I miss my love

we’ll meet again, someday
then, you know I’ll always stay

oh, I miss my love
oh, I miss my love

oh, I miss my love
oh, I miss my love

our love will survive the years
stronger than the tears

oh, I miss my love
oh, I miss my love

we’ll meet again my love
our love will last forever

oh, I miss my love
oh, I miss my love

“Oh I Miss My Love” © 1983 Ronald K. House

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Something Is Missing

Missing one

Image by Uriel Akira via Flickr

I’m so lonely and so alone
for the first time in my life
something is missing

I walk around
like nothing’s changed
but my whole world is upside down
and I can’t seem to smile
or frown

all I know
is that you’re gone
and something is missing

all I know
is that you’re gone
and something is missing

I’m lost without your love
don’t know where I am
and now I don’t even feel
like a man
but I hope someday you’ll return
and my life will start again

but until then

all I know
is that you’re gone
and something is missing

all I know
is that you’re gone
and something is missing

all I know
is that you’re gone
and something is missing


“Something is Missing” © 1982 Ronald K. House

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