Love Theory #6: the ONE

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if your standards are set too high
best to be prepared, in the end, to cry

perhaps, so many more could be worthy
to share in your wonderful life journey

and if you are always on the hunt for something better
you could overlook someone’s inner hidden treasure

for, if you are only looking for the “one”
what do you do if there are none?

PS. see all my little theories of love

Love Theory #5: the fantasy of love

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marriages are down and divorce rates are up
maybe, romantic love only exists for the next hookup
and when we’re old, we should just adopt a kitty or a pup

was long-term love always just a fantasy of the mind?
maybe a result of drinking a little too much wine
or something we all read about in a book once upon a time

PS. see all my little theories of love

high beams

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oh my dearest lost love
where is it that you have gone?
was I no more than random road kill
overlooked and left behind on your busy autobahn?

of course, you never knew
that you inadvertently ran me down
leaving my crushed and broken heart as a dark stain
and my soul forever haunting some forlorn roadside ghost town

where I still have a glimmer of hope
that you will someday brighten my darkest dreams
the next time you pass by my fading shadow
briefly flashing your oh so lovely high beams

Block Lock

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I’ve got a new kind of writer’s block
And it’s so frustrating and unfair
The new WordPress Gutenberg Block Editor
Has me pulling out my already thinning hair

It drives me crazy when it stands in my way
As if I don’t already have enough reasons to be sad
I can only assume the thoughtless software authors
Didn’t intend for it to be this bad

They want to make it easier to create something cool
But the resulting HTML is really inelegant and unclean
And the change was forced upon us without any choice
Which I feel is arrogant and unthinkingly mean

As you may know, I write software for a living
So, I know that it didn’t have to be done this way
I am now looking at alternatives to WordPress
Because, I no longer have any desire to stay

laws of motion

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Trapped in my state of motion
Unless acted upon by some force
It seems that I’m going nowhere fast
No action means no reaction, of course

I’m slowly falling apart
With nowhere to go but here
Some junk that is no one’s treasure
A heap that is nobody’s dear

Left with only rusty old memories
Having reached the end of the road
I’ve lost my capacity for get up and go
And couldn’t carry even the lightest load

just another name

What’s in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet
William Shakespeare

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Has she become just another name
On my cellphone contact list?
Someone left behind the times
In a dream that didn’t persist

On a whim I say her name over and over
A sound that somehow brings me solace
And fills the emptiness around me
That otherwise would be without any promise

Unconsciously rubbing that old wound
Until her name becomes the lyrics of a song
The background music playing in my mind
My heart reflexively beating along

Just visiting

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Every place I go since I first left home
Seeking higher education at a University
I’ve felt like I’m just a visitor
No place has felt like home to me

Home is where I grew up and played in the yard
With my two sisters that are my family
Home is a baby blanket that is familiar and comforting
And a fortress that is safe, secure and friendly

I’ve since been back as an adult to the place
That I have always called my home
But it isn’t the same place that it once was
So, it seems I must continue to forever roam

Every other place that I have lived in my life
Even the places where I raised my own family
I feel like I’m just away from home and visiting
Because home is now only a memory

love’s illusion

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I am in a state of confusion
Is it possible my love is all a delusion?

If all I know about her is what I see
How real can my feelings actually be?

If I can’t hear her inner thoughts
How can I possibly connect all the dots?

If I can’t experience how she feels
How do I know what I feel is real?

How close can we ever really be
When we exist in this life separately?

Can I ever really know her inner beauty
Or will this all drive me totally loony

so long

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Last night while wandering in a dark dream
I happened upon my love once again
It’s been so long since last I saw her
Yet all my secret feelings forever remain

By some wordless form of mental touch
My true feelings for her were disclosed
Thus my shy innermost heart and soul
Were unexpectedly dangerously exposed

I stood enchanted by her loveliness
Frozen by my insecurities and fear
When suddenly she simply smiled at me
And then she quickly drew very near

I expected her to inquire or accuse
About all the years I had been gone
Instead she opened her arms and kissed me
Then asked “What took you so long?”

Dear daddy (by Ellie House)

Dear daddy
I love you
like the wavy
seas splashing
me!
[paw
of Hello]

Daddy you
are as
calm as
a
smooth
coated otter
nuzzling
me!

Daddy you
have the mane
of a lion and
you are the
king of the
Jungle
and you have

a shiny crown
and you have
the roar
of a lion you
have a shiny
clean but
nice coat of
fur

June 14, 1987: my last song

My original lyrics and chords for my last song (photo by RK House)

On June 14 of 1987, three years after leaving my last tape of music compositions unfinished, I recorded my last song. While I was driving home from work, I thought of the words and music for the song. As soon as i got home that evening, I grabbed my guitar and recorded that song, adding it onto the b-side.

This was a different process than how I had composed most of my prior work, where I added music to poems that I had previously written. In fact, for most of my songs, the words had been put to paper years prior to being put to music.

The song, “I’m Just a Fool in Love“, was in response to some silly things that were happening at that time. A female friend of mine with a shaky boyfriend relationship (I believe she told me they had broken up or were breaking up that day, but that had happened multiple times before), who also had another potential suitor in the wings (she also confided in me about him but I forget the details), had confessed to me that she might have feelings for me that went beyond our friendship. She said her best female friend had even asked her if she was in love with me. So, I guess they were talking about me, too? All very confusing.

I liked her a lot, but I had mixed feelings. She was cute and funny, but also a little crazy. We were just friends and we, really she, talked a lot. She was fun and we laughed a lot together. That is the kind of situation that has comedy, drama, tragedy and disaster written all over it. I was inspired to write one last song out of the situation. I don’t remember how things turned out for her, or for them, but I guess that was the beginning of the end of our friendship.

After composing this last song in 1987, I only wrote a handful of poems over the years, until 2011 when I woke up from a vivid dream and started this blog. I have written more songs that are in this blog, where I thought of music and lyrics at the same time. However. I’ve never picked up my guitar and tried to play or record them. So, you only have my word for that.

For some of my later songs, I’ve written the lyrics in this blog with the chorus included, but most often I’ve left out the chorus to avoid repetition. I don’t try to play songs anymore because I don’t play guitar anymore. Although, I do still have some guitars and I had been thinking of perhaps trying to play again after retirement.

“I’m Just a Fool in Love” © 1987 Ronald K. House

Tape 13 recorded 5/23/84 and 6/14/87

Side A	Side B
That Girl Give Me Your Love Waiting For So Long The Most Beautiful Girl Let’s Not Think About Tomorrow She’s A Girl A New Leaf You Don’t Look So Bad If We Wait Pretty Girl Shine Your Light Dream Girl	Up and Down Instrumental 1 and 2 I’m Just a Fool in Love

Sideways

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You’re the one that I should be kissing
You’re what my life was always missing

I’ve always known that to be true
From the very first moment I saw you

But you didn’t wait for me to come along
We didn’t get the chance to sing our song

After that everything went sideways
When we should have been together for always

Continuing

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Alone in her back yard she continues
To feed the squirrels that peak in the windows

Just as they had all happily done
In remembered times before he was gone

Now, they share food and memories
And overhead the crows watch in silent reveries

laughter and love

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All I want to do is to make her laugh and smile
To see her lose control for a little while

To hear her laughing is the best of sounds
Nothing is better for life’s ups and downs

To watch as she has to cover her face
All of her worries temporarily erased

To see her eyes almost brought to tears
To know my humor erases all her fears

For laughter is the best medicine
And few things are any more genuine

With humor my heart is subtly declaring
Laughter and love is what I want to be sharing

 

fresh air

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Dark thoughts can take me to a dark place
And pull me in like a black hole in outer space

I can’t spend every moment in the light
Sometimes, I walk alone in the dark of night

With dark thoughts circling in my head
I try to think of good and happy things instead

But I’m cornered by a circling black eyed shark
When I’m adrift in the ocean in the dark

My heart races and it’s a very close call
Hanging on the edge of a precipice about to fall

The world closes in and I can’t breathe
With nowhere to go and no way to leave

Until, I think of her and even though she’s not there
I’m reminded of tomorrow morning and fresh air

what’s-a behind me

And now my friend, the first-a rule of Italian driving: what’s-a behind me is not important.
Franco Bertollini in The Gumball Rally

I know there’s no point to looking back
Only memories and dust are left behind on the track

There’s no way to go back to the beginning
That would defeat the whole point of winning

But my perspective is different than when I was a young man
Perhaps, racing to the finish line wasn’t the best plan

any road

If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.
Lewis Carroll

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I guess, I just lost my focus
although, no one else noticed

my direction became unclear
without the one that was most dear

so, I selected a random route to journey
into a future which was then so murky

fully knowing any road would do
because there was no road that would lead to you

by the time I reached my final destination
I forgot the whole point of my narration

The Beths

When I say I love Power Pop, people always ask me “what is that?”. My usual response is that it is guitar-driven pop music with hooks, harmonies, a strong rythym and beat, a beautiful melody, and so on. But, honestly, that describes a lot of pop music. The difference in Power Pop is the energy and emotion. Emotions of yearning, longing, lust, love, loss, angst, despair, fear, or whatever, are channelled into pure energy. In the first few crashing chords of Badfinger’s ‘No Matter What’ or the Raspberries ‘Go All the Way’, you just know that you are hearing Power Pop. I’ve been addicted to this music all of my life. The following band doesn’t necessarily call themselves Power Pop, as far as I know, but that’s what I hear and I love it.

So, let me highly recommend a band from New Zealand called ‘The Beths‘. The emotional, sincere and very open lyrics of Elizabeth Stokes are exposed in a context of powerful guitar-driven pop music with a gorgeous backdrop of sunshine harmonies. I hope the quotes from the songs, shown beneath each youTube video will encourage you to have a listen. I think they speak, and sing, for themselves.

Call declined
Say you’re ’round the corner, fine, okay
You think I will buy whatever you say
(Whatever, yeah, whatever)

Elizabeth Stokes

I’ve been stressed of late
But please don’t try to guess whats on my mind
You probably won’t like what you’ll find

Elizabeth Stokes

This stays in this room
Don’t take it with you
If I told the truth
Then what would you do?

Elizabeth Stokes

I never wanted to, I didn’t want to fall
I don’t believe that love’s a good idea at all

Elizabeth Stokes

‘Cause I was fine on my own
Tolling steady like a dial tone
Couldn’t you leave me?
I was happy unhappy
But now I’m overthrown
Wish my heart were really made of stone
And I could forget you
Like I really want to

Elizabeth Stokes

the wanna be’s

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I only wanna be by your side
And for your heart to open wide

I wanna hold your hand
Everything would be so grand

Let my love come deep inside
I don’t wanna be denied

I only wanna be with you
My love will always be true

some things never change

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With my poetry I tried to beseech
For the love just out of my reach

But my efforts were futile
I lost all that was worthwhile

You were always out of my range
Some things never change