Feb 6, 1983: the lost tape

Folder with lyrics (photo by RK House)

I had bought a stereo jukebox that could hold a set of cassette tapes. I used to keep my favorite music tapes with my songs in there. I also kept a tape of our wedding vows in there. The stupid thing could also record and I had left the tabs on my tapes. You can see where this is going. Somehow the thing got into record mode after a power outage and automatically inserted one of my music tapes and erased it. It could shuffle through the entire set, so I’m lucky that I lost only the one tape. Not a great loss in the scheme of things, but it bothers me because I think it was my favorite tape. The first song “I saw my baby tonight” was the closest to the kind of power pop music that I love the most. I wish I could share that music.

Six sound re-recordings of the songs from my lost tape do exist. I used to play my favorite songs over and over again. Sometimes, I would record these later sessions to make a favorite collection tape, but I never took notes or marked the tapes. On one of these, I had my sister singing background for me on one song. I really wish I had that tape to share. My sister can actually sing. Only one of these unmarked tapes survived the years, though. The fact that several songs on that surviving tape were from my lost tape demonstrates how much I liked those particular songs. The songs that exist have an asterisk (*) next to them. The others are only the written lyrics from the original recording notes of the lost tape. I kept a folder for every tape with the songs listed and the date of the recording along with all of the lyrics.

I didn’t spend a lot of time on composing. I would sit down, pick out a poem and just start playing. Each 60 minute tape only took me a few hours to complete, so I didn’t really spend much time working on the music for each song. Looking back, I’m not exactly sure how I did that. I still kind of work that way with most of my poetry. I don’t spend a lot of time editing it. Perhaps, I should. I just throw it together. I like that I can go back and edit my work on this blog, and I often do. Mostly, I only fix typos and make minor changes. I’ll delete some lines or add a few lines or change a word or two. I sometimes wish that I could go back and fix my music like that. I leave all those lyrics as-is. They are the way they were as I sung them on the day I recorded them, which doesn’t always exactly match my original written lyrics.

Tape 2 recorded 2/6/83

Side A	Side B
I Saw My Baby Tonight I Need You I’m a Fool Who Am I? Time Has Forgotten Me Always Glad My Singing Girl Like Time and All Else* Down We Go	Down We Go (continued) Waiting Old Friends* Oh I Miss My Love* Don’t Cry Lorelie* Don’t Let Me Go* Sad Melody I Can’t Get Her Out of My Mind*

“I Can’t Get Her Out of my Mind” © 1983 Ronald K. House

“Don’t Cry Lorelei” © 1983 Ronald K. House

“Oh I Miss My Love” © 1983 Ronald K. House

“Old Friends” © 1983 Ronald K. House

“Like Time and All Else” © 1983 Ronald K. House

“Don’t Let Me Go” © 1983 Ronald K. House

who am I?

Star Fire Shower (Photo credit: jurvetson)

sometimes I look but I never see
sometimes I wonder who’s inside of me?
why is it that I feel this way?
why should I stay, stay another day?

who, who, who
who am I? who am I?

I hear the beating thunder of my blood
will I explode in fireworks shower or be a dud?
do I burn inside because I am someone?
or is the brightness all outside from the sun?

who, who, who
who am I? who am I?

sometimes, I wonder what’s gotten into me?
why this obsession with a question of destiny?
why can’t I live a simple life and be a happy man?
why do I worry whether or not there is a plan?

who, who, who
who am I? who am I?

time has forgotten me

Slow Time in Wrist Watch on Dry Leaf (Photo credit: epSos.de)

time passes so slowly
I’m waiting for to go
when I’ll return to here
that I do not know

I seem to wait for forever
time, time has forgotten
time has forgotten me

waiting for a woman
waiting for a while
waiting for my time to come
time to walk that last mile

I seem to wait for forever
time, time has forgotten
time has forgotten me

my singing girl

Artist Woman Singing Concert in Jazz Club (Photo credit: epSos.de)

listen to my singing girl
as she sings a song for me
and as she sings a song
she drives away all my misery

sing, sing, sing, my singing girl
sing, sing, sing, my singing girl

and along the way
I hear her softly say
that she loves me
and now I’m so happy, that I could

sing sing, sing with my singing girl
sing sing, sing with my singing girl

sing, sing, sing
sing, sing, sing our song of love

I need you

The love of my life (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I think of you all the time
you mean so much to me
and I can’t get you off my mind
oh, how close to you, I want to be

like the Earth around the Sun
my world revolves around you
now, I’m an unstable spinning top
out of control and lost without you

I need you, I want you, I do
I need you, I want you, I love you, I do

all my hope for the future rests
in the blessing of your tender, sweet love
so, come down off that marble pedestal
that I put you up on, way up above

I’m so lost and I can’t believe
that the meaning of my life is now gone
I’m alone and hopeless without you
how can I possibly go on?

I need you, I want you, I do
I need you, I want you, I love you, I do

down we go

Long Road in Montana (Photo credit: Stuck in Customs)

moving to the beat of the drums that call us all
down the road before the shining sun begins to fall

fueled by the eternal fire burning in my soul
I push the button and turn on our cruise control

down, down, down we go
how far it goes, no one knows

always in motion, gotta push until we drop
certain there will always be a better rest stop

barely time to forgive all the debts that are owed
before racing on down to the end of the road

down, down, down we go
how far it goes, no one knows

I’m a fool

The fool and Death (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

what can I say to you
my love
when I know that
I’m nothing much to speak of?

for you, my love, I’m a fool

I know, and I know
that you don’t know
all that I never have
the nerve to seriously show

for you, my love, I’m a fool

sometimes time
seems to move so slow
so now it’s time
to just laugh and let it go

for you, my love, I’m a fool

waiting

Waiting (Photo credit: robertgourley-photo)

thoughts of you
come over me
a love so true
how can it be?

waiting, waiting, waiting

I’m waiting, my love
waiting for you
if you don’t come
what will I do?

waiting, waiting, waiting

always glad

glad (Photo credit: Aunt Owwee)

I think about the girls
I’ve known
all the ones I’ve wanted
for my own

always glad that I’ve dared
always glad that I’ve dared to love

I remember the short time
we shared
never wishing my heart
was spared

always glad that I’ve dared
always glad that I’ve dared to love

sad melody

A Silhouette of Sadness (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

if only for today
if only she, she would stay
and become a part
of my beating heart
then we’d never be apart
forever a work of art

love is a unfulfilled need
I’m cut but I never bleed
I don’t touch so I never feel
not knowing what is real
trapped in mixed emotions
just going through the motions

it’s a sad melody
a sad melody in me

her smile and those baby blue eyes
communicate no lies
except those little whites
all hidden in plain sight
spinning a witching spell on me
until, the truth I can no longer see

a lost soul and cold heart
have left me in the dark
many a time, many a time
we all learn a sad rhyme
but we go on, we go on
as each day brings a new dawn

it’s a sad melody
a sad melody in me