Posts Tagged Loss

to say on father’s day

last night, I was eating corn
at our local Golden Corral buffet
although father’s lips would puff up
I remember he loved to eat it anyway

whenever I would call him on the phone
he was always there with good advice
and willing to go out of his way
to help me which was so very nice

as a young child in his household
it’s true that he seemed pretty strict
but later I became a father too and knew
all was done with love for my own benefit

today, like many days, I’m thinking of my father
and missing him because he has passed away
leaving me filled with so many thoughts
so much, that I would want to say

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pretty much the same

English: Stone Steps The beginnings of a long ...

Stone Steps The beginnings of a long lost path in the wood, that lead of the track up to the Octagon Tower. There is a good section of exposed limestone at this point. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

sometimes, I think many years of stresses
have levied a significant toll upon me
but then we all have to face stresses in life
and we all seem to deal with them differently

mounting counts of dearly loved ones no longer here
and all those accumulated regrets of paths not taken
or unending daily tales of death, disease and destruction
which can easily leave us with our faith badly shaken

life is a wonderful gift of which I am undeserving
so, I really have no reason to complain
and upon contemplating whatever comes next
I reckon that I would feel pretty much the same

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to endure

Warnie had inscribed these words on the tombst...

Warnie had inscribed these words on the tombstone: “Men must endure their going hence” which, rumour has it, was the quote off of a calendar. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I know you had been through a lot in recent years
with the transplant, the dialysis, and the pain
and you always took your burdens like a soldier
for I never heard you complain

I guess, all that I can say now
is that I will always respect and love you so
you were a good father and always there for all of us
and my heart really wishes you didn’t have to go

and I know that it is selfish of me
to wish for you to endure and still be here
since you’re freed from pain and resting in peace
while I am left with my memories of you, so dear

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cloud watching

Cloud watching

Cloud watching (Photo credit: caddymob)

it seems we were watching clouds
just the other day
then I turned and looked back
and found you had gone away

so many thoughts and comments
that I should have came out and said
so many beautiful rhymes and words
that I should have more carefully read

I guess, I took it for granted
that you would always be there
so, I didn’t take the time
to say how much I really care

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vacuum packed and sealed in plastic

Sunset behind the remaining three of Bristol's...

Sunset behind the remaining three of Bristol’s “Seven Sisters”. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

she was the warm tropical air
gathering her forces as if preparing for a storm
then she blew over me like a category 5 hurricane
from which nothing of me escaped harm

she was the sun setting on a moonless night
that left my world almost totally dark
and I was struggling in the cold to start a fire
but unable to find a match to even light a spark

she left me vacuum packed and sealed in plastic
forgotten and stored up on guest room closet shelf
not really a good feeling
in and of itself

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following the trail of tears

tear

tear (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

unseen by the world

little drops of water
and salt and protein based hormones
glisten

leaving a damp trail
leading nowhere

but to what purpose
and to what end?

other than
to make me feel better
when they stop falling

like the sun coming out
from behind the clouds
after a downpour

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white tornado

Category F5 tornado (upgraded from initial est...

Category F5 tornado (upgraded from initial estimate of F4) viewed from the southeast as it approached Elie, Manitoba on Friday, June 22nd, 2007. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

the pain and the grief
the tears and the loss
the lost butterfly caught
in a violent wind and tossed

the lessons of history
the patterns of time
the meaning of life
the order and rhyme

the answers to my questions
that I know I’ll never know
swirl around though my troubled mind
like the restless winds of a tornado blow

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scamper the cat

Scamper

Scamper the cat used to greet me at the door
coming up to get my attention along with the dogs
he would make a little squeaking sound
and he got in my heart and made me love him gobs

my son sneaked this kitty into the house one day
he was such a tenderhearted cute little cat
I had to let him stay even though my daughter’s cats
didn’t like him and he never understood that

they wouldn’t play with him or share the day with him
and they would hiss when he came too close
luckily, he made a friend with our little dog Chewy
and they were buddies and played together the most

everyone in the family fell in love with that little scamp of a cat
until one awful day when a nice lady came to the door
she brought with her sad news that had my wife in tears
and told us that poor Scamper was no more

rest in peace dear Scamper
for I still love you so
you were the greatest little kitty
that I will ever know

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she turned her back and looked out over the sea

A-line-Halter-Lace-Satin-Tulle-Wedding-Dress

A-line-Halter-Lace-Satin-Tulle-Wedding-Dress (Photo credit: AviviJ)

summoned by invitation only
to a fateful public ceremony
left in a place with no way to begin to defend
the love that was lost to sin

that night, flowing white chiffon and lace
slowly lowers leaving her bosom bare
in my face, and me trying not to stare
at the place where no man has gone before

is she real or only in my dreams?
like a black hole bends space and time, in altered reality
ancient unending lust and grace
while smiling white teeth clinch eternity

lost in her inviolate space
reaching for dearest divinity
pushing thru her open door seeking final serenity
atoms smashing together in ultimate synergy

until coming to a final dead-end
of the long lonely winding road
looking over a cliff, standing alone hand-in-hand
with nowhere left to go, in the end

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To Be Someone

A pacifier

Image via Wikipedia

[written after my wife’s miscarriage after 14 weeks of her first pregnancy]

we lost you
before we ever found you
wonder, who you would have been?
if you only had the chance
to be someone

it’s sometimes hard to remember
those who have gone before
to read the names on old wind worn eroded stones
through the timeless mists of memory
and the darkened clouds and echoes of the past

so, we place our hopes, our happiness
our entire drive for success
on the future
better days to come
and on our little children

ah, but if you had only had the chance to be with us
the chance to be someone
the chance to play with our other children
that came later into our home
and grew up without you

but we love you anyway
you, who almost never was
except in our hearts
and we hope and pray someday
we may have the chance
to finally be with you
again

my tears I shed now are for all
for all those who have almost never been
or had the simple chance
to be someone
someone like you

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